ARGHHHHHH..... My body, happened to it, what did? That potion, it must have been. See that Doctor, I ought to (In the post below, information, you will find.). As soon as the toilet I find, I will.
Out into the corridor, I walked. Ran into Windu, I did. A strong urge to hurt him, I did.
"Shiny, out of my way, move!"
"Do you, think so?"
"Yes!"
"Thank you Yoda, you haven't given me such a complement since... you haven't ever given me such a complement."
"Get out of the way, will you?"
"But, we have a Council meeting to go to."
"But, see the Doctor, I must."
Dragged to the Council Chambers, by my robes, I was. Sit on a chair, I did. Supposedly, on the wrong chair, I sat. In Kenobi's chair, I was. Even better, I felt.
At lunch time, to see the Doctor, I went. Expect to have a slinging mach, I did not.
"My body, give back!"
"It is for your own good."
"Good, how is it? Angrier, it makes me. Talk like this, I can not, for much longer."
"Too bad, you will be like this for the rest of the day."
"Spend the rest of the day with Windu, you are asking me?"
"Yes."
Back to the Council, I flew. Left my indicator was on for 10 minutes, a fine, I did not deserve! Arrive late, I did. Apparently, tarnished my reputation now is. At least, Yoda's fine and reputation, it is.
Only end, the day did, when Force Wedgies, to all the Jedi, I delivered.
Today I had to go and see a psychiatrist on Master Sidious's orders; he claims it is in the fine print of my contract. It must be incredibly fine; I went over it on 500% zoom and still couldn't find it. Anyway, he insists that it's there and ordered me to see the shrink.
I walked up to the receptionist, in a huge marble chamber, on Hoth.
Grievous: I'm here to see Dr Happtise.
Receptionist: You must be General Grievous! Right this way, I will see you now.
Grievous: You? But I'm here to see Dr Happtise!
Receptionist: I am Dr Happtise; we've been having some financial difficulties at the moment. Can you believe that people don't like coming to see psychiatrists?
Grievous: Ahhh.... no....
Dr Happtise: Here we are.
She turned into another huge room. This one was made of wood panels and a floor to ceiling bookcase that covered the walls. Dr Happtise walked over to her solid wood desk and motioned for me to lie on a leather sofa.
Dr Happtise: So, why are you here?
Grievous: Because Darth Sidious sent me here.
Dr Happtise: I have no time for jokes like that! Now, why are you here?
Grievous: I told you, Darth Sidious sent me here!
Dr Happtise: No he didn't! [She pulled out a thick cane the size of small tree]
Grievous: Umm... My employer sent me.
Dr Happtise: That's better. How why did they send you here?
Grievous: How should I know? I'm not them.
Dr Happtise: Ok, who do you dislike?
Grievous: Yoda, Mace Windu, Jar Jar, some other Jedi and other people.
Dr Happtise: And who are your friends, or who can you tolerate?
Grievous: Palpatine, Dooku, and a few others.
Dr Happtise: Would they know why you're here?
Grievous: How should I know? I'm not them.
Dr Happtise: I see, well that’s what we need to fix.
She went to her desk and pulled out a phial, with a lime green liquid in it, and gave it to me.
Dr Happtise: Now drink this!
Grievous: No, I don't know what’s in it.
Dr Happtise: I said drink it! [She raises her cane]
Grievous: Alright!
After that she said I could leave. Now that was an experience I could have done without, that liquid tasted like lemon and lime earwax.
Master Sidious ordered me to take part in this "tagging" game.
10 years ago I was:
Happily climbing my way up the military ladder on Kalee
Choosing which suit of armour I would wear at the next parade
Cooking gourmet dishes in my five star apartment
5 years ago I was:
Hunting some Jedi
Cursing the Republic
1 year ago I was:
Hunting some Jedi
Cursing the Republic
Making fun of Yoda
Yesterday I was:
Hunting some Jedi
Cursing the Republic
Making fun of Yoda
Enjoying a party at Palpatine's (details tomorrow)
5 snacks I enjoy the most:
Pizza
Toast
Chocolate
Roast beef
Steamed Scurrier
5 songs I know all the words to:
Killing Jedi ("In the midnight hours we kill more, more, more")
One group of Jedi on the wall (popular travel song)
Sith Deeds (my Sith style remix of Eminem's "Evil Deeds")
The theme song of "So you want to be a Sith Lord"
Where is the death (remix of B.E.P.'s "Where is the Love")
5 ideal places for running away to:
Hoth
Naboo
The Invisible Hand
Coruscant
Noel's Resort Ship
5 items you will never see me wear:
A suit
Military uniform
A hat
Shoes
You will almost never see me wear any clothes at all
5 biggest joys in my life:
Slaying Jedi
Eating Pizza
Torturing Jedi
Making fun of Yoda
Defending myself in Court
3 favourite toys:
My lightsaber
My other lightsabers
My security droid that I left on Survivor: Tatooine
5 tags:
Commando Rage
Yarael Poof
Jawa Juice
Han Solo
redheadwithbedhead
If you want to be tagged by me just ask. I'll add you to the list above.
My lawyer visited me today in me cell.
Guard: Your Lawyer is here. [Opens the door]
Lawyer: Yes, yes, I am here.
Grievous: Is that you Palps?
Lawyer (loudly): NO I AM NOT SUPREME CHANCELLOR PLAPATINE, HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK OF SUCH A THING! HE'S SO MUCH BETTER LOOKING!
Grievous: I'm sure it's you, Palps.
Palps: Yes it is me; I'm here to get you out of here.
Grievous: May I say that most Lawyers wear suits, not cargo pants and a sweatshirt.
Palps: Ohh, I.... ummm... was trying to look unlike myself... that’s it! I was trying to not look me!
Grievous: Ok... So how are you going to get me out of here?
Palps: Well, I'm just going to walk out of here. Why do you ask?
Grievous: No, how are you going to get ME out of here?
Palps: Ok... here's the plan....
You will be asleep at 6 tomorrow night. The guards change every six hours. When they change we will be outside the window. When we tell you to, you will climb through the window and out to freedom.
Grievous: There are some problems in that plan!
Palps: What! I paid several bandits to come up with that! It's foolproof I tell you! Foolproof!
Grievous: No one is asleep at 6; it is still light at 6.
Palps: O...
Grievous: I'll leave the other problems for you to rethink. Carry out the task at midnight tomorrow.
Palps: So be it! I'll hire another team of smarter thieves and villains and break you out of here tomorrow.
Tomorrow I will be saved; tomorrow I will be sane again.
This cell is small, dark and cold. It is about three meters squared and contains a metal bed, a toilet, and a basin. There is a window that is shielded and offers a view of the prison yard below. There is a large crack between the window and the floor where a family of spiders are making their home.
This place is driving me crazy!
I have heard a rumour of my escape from the other prisoners at meal times.
Yesterday a guard came into my cell and announced that my lawyer would be coming to see me in 2 days time. I told him that I didn't need a lawyer but he wouldn't listen. I guess it will break the monotony of this place. Maybe I can escape dressed in his clothes? I will just have to wait.
Yesterday we went into hiding, after our attack on the barracks in the Republic's military base. I was hiding under a bridge, my magnetic feet clinging to the bridge with me dangling upside down underneath. Fourteen hours of my fluids seeping into my brain was all that I could take. I emerged from under the bridge and climbed onto it.
I was standing behind a pair of clones who were evidently on guard to find our group. I slowly tiptoed backwards, trying to get away from them. I have been getting good at moving of metal quietly, I use my repulsorlifts to stop exerting a lot of pressure on the metal. They didn't hear me back away.
However, they most certainly did hear me fall backwards off the bridge and into the garbage cans below.
Clone One: What was that?
Clone Two: Probably a Coruscant citizen walking home after an afternoon at the bar.
Clone One: We should investigate it; t could be General Grievous or one of his followers.
[The Clones walk to the edge of the bridge and peer over the side]
Clone Two: See it's only a drunk droid collapsed in a pile of garbage cans.
[Clone One looks at the issued picture of General Grievous and then stares at the droid on the ground]
Clone One: That is General Grievous!
They climbed down to the level that I was on. I was away, running around one corner after the next.
I should have paid more attention to where I was going! I ran around in a circle and collided with the Clone that was looking for me.
Clone: General Grievous, you are under arrest! You have the right to remain silent! Anything you do say can and will be used against you!
Grievous: I refuse to come with you!
Clone lieutenant: General Grievous, surrender or you will be fired upon!
I looked around. From points along higher walkways, many Clones had their rifles trained on me.
Grievous: Ok, I surrender!
I was taken away and placed in the cell that I'm in now. They say I'll be on trial in a few days from now. I guess I can only wait and read the book "How to Beat the Best"; it's about how to outwit and win against the best lawyers.
… we planed to walk through the door, kill everyone, and walk back out again.
That of course is not how it went but it was the extent of our plans. We actually crept up on the barracks from behind and climbed in through the laundry window. Once inside we destroyed their washing machines and dryers. Then we walked into the kitchen, where we ate lunch (we had gone some days without food).
Then we were spotted as some sleepy clone stumbled into the kitchen, seeking water. We disposed of him with the flash of a blaster, but unfortunately they shriek he emitted woke up the clones in the next room.
We all ran and hid behind various objects, I was behind a military grade toaster and Zin was behind a huge kettle. The clones came in without their armour on, but the rifles they were holding made them no less deadly.
The kitchen was alive with blaster fire, as I had no blaster with me I started to make some toast. Once the toast was cooked, I spread some low fat butter on it. Then I ate it and started again.
After about 3 pieces of toast the fighting had stopped. We had lost 2 droids, but they had received many casualties.
All: Yes Sir!
We ran through into the sleeping quarters of the group we had just killed and through into the next one, only after I had taken one of the rifles for myself. The next group was ready for us; we lost many more droids and one bounty hunter before they were destroyed. By my estimation there were three more rooms to go through before the exit.
The third group was actually the third and forth combined in the one room. They were all bunched in the one room that a few were arguing over the few hiding spaces in the room. This time I was able to use my lightsabers, so I did. I went darting in and out of the laser fire, striking down the enemy clones, whirling my four blades, and at times 6, until all were dead.
The last room was still asleep. We carefully approached one target each and prepared to simultaneously kill out target. It was a hoax. They all leapt up as one and started firing at us. We lost many droids and bounty hunters in that battle.
When we finally reached the exit we quickly jumped the fence and went into our designated hiding places before the next night when we were to meet.