Access Granted: Welcome General *cough* Grievous
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Assault on Coruscant - Part 11
After much consideration, and listening in on official conversations, we decided to attack the Republic’s barracks. Using Zin’s hidden map:

… we planed to walk through the door, kill everyone, and walk back out again.

That of course is not how it went but it was the extent of our plans. We actually crept up on the barracks from behind and climbed in through the laundry window. Once inside we destroyed their washing machines and dryers. Then we walked into the kitchen, where we ate lunch (we had gone some days without food).

Then we were spotted as some sleepy clone stumbled into the kitchen, seeking water. We disposed of him with the flash of a blaster, but unfortunately they shriek he emitted woke up the clones in the next room.

Me: Assume defensive positions!

We all ran and hid behind various objects, I was behind a military grade toaster and Zin was behind a huge kettle. The clones came in without their armour on, but the rifles they were holding made them no less deadly.

The kitchen was alive with blaster fire, as I had no blaster with me I started to make some toast. Once the toast was cooked, I spread some low fat butter on it. Then I ate it and started again.

After about 3 pieces of toast the fighting had stopped. We had lost 2 droids, but they had received many casualties.

Me: Ok men, we are going to run through the barracks and out the entrance. Once out we run to the fence and jump over it.
All: Yes Sir!

We ran through into the sleeping quarters of the group we had just killed and through into the next one, only after I had taken one of the rifles for myself. The next group was ready for us; we lost many more droids and one bounty hunter before they were destroyed. By my estimation there were three more rooms to go through before the exit.

The third group was actually the third and forth combined in the one room. They were all bunched in the one room that a few were arguing over the few hiding spaces in the room. This time I was able to use my lightsabers, so I did. I went darting in and out of the laser fire, striking down the enemy clones, whirling my four blades, and at times 6, until all were dead.

The last room was still asleep. We carefully approached one target each and prepared to simultaneously kill out target. It was a hoax. They all leapt up as one and started firing at us. We lost many droids and bounty hunters in that battle.

When we finally reached the exit we quickly jumped the fence and went into our designated hiding places before the next night when we were to meet.

posted by General Grievous at 8:55 AM | Permalink |


  • At 11:54 AM, Blogger Captain Typho

    "Once inside we destroyed their washing machines and dryers."

    That's foul.

  • At 1:25 AM, Blogger Chancellor Palpatine

    Their armor is machine washable? Bonus!

  • At 3:12 AM, Blogger jedisiri

    it will suit you will,gg.*smile*

  • At 1:54 PM, Blogger flu

    man, them military grade toasters are da bomb.

    I'm surprised it dint blowed up.

  • At 5:55 AM, Blogger Master Yoda

    From the CNN(Coruscant News Network) newswire -

    In another laundry related attack, Seperatist troops led by General Grievous stormed a clone trooper base, obliterating several large appliances, including all of the base's washers and dryers. Early reports estimate the damage could be as high as 20 washers and dryers, but officials are unwilling at this time to commit to a specific number until rescue efforts on behalf of the appliances have been completed.

    When asked about this latest string of laundry related attacks, Minister of War, Kon-di Rise said, "These heinous acts go against the universally accepted Rules of Conduct During Warfare as well as intergalactic law as laid out in the Geonosis Conventions and Treaty of Tatooine. No decent government would attack the washers and dryers of another people. That goes against human decency at all levels."

    The Minister of War continued, "Apparently the Seperatists want to cripple our ability to wear clean clothes. This could have a devastating effect on both the war effort and how we smell to each other, if we were to allow this continue. We will not allow this to continue."

    The Chancellor's Administration released this statement shortly after this last attack, "This latest atrocity and assault on our beloved laundry appliances by these treasonous rebels only serve to expose their barbarity and embolden us to strengthen our resolve to see this conflict to the end. It is this administration's resolve to bring each of these appliance assaulters to justice and the Chancellor will not rest until that is accomplished. The Chancellor also wishes to express that his heart and prayers go out to those at the base who may have had laundry running at the time of this grisly attack."

    In other minor related news, 73 clone troopers and 12 bounty hunters are believed to have been killed in the attack. Many more clone troopers were wounded.