Access Granted: Welcome General *cough* Grievous
Friday, February 24, 2006
Back on Coruscant
I was delayed a lot on my trip back to Coruscant.

Customs stopped us in and out of every system. Random patrols boarded the ship whenever they could and ate so much of the food that we had to land to take on more supplies and go through another set of custom checks.

And it was all because of one person that they were searching for; my good old friend Zin. Rumour has it that he sabotaged a Republic AT-TE to self destruct on firing the main canon. Other anti-government rumours say that he is being framed by the Chancellor himself in order to cover up a giant blunder by them. Either way I wish him good luck with his life as a fugitive.

On another note I am to start up an armed combat training school.

Now, what to teach the students....

Jango Fett:
Are you a fan of the Bounty Hunters?
As long as they aren't trying to kill me I don't mind them. So I wouldn't say I'm too much of a fan, the Trade Federation has sent too many Bounty Hunters after me for me to like them.

Jon Intergalactic Gladiator:
The wheel bike has only one wheel, isn't it prone to falling over?
It IS stabilised so that it doesn't tip over.

Happy Mask Saleswoman:
Did you still have such an attractive personality and appearance when you were all flesh and bone back on Kalee? Or were so many women attracted to you because of your money and power?
Some would say so, some wouldn't.

Can you buy postcards on Geonosis?
Yes, they're actually quite nice, apart from when your friends buy them at the hospital gift shop when they come to see you.

Do you like Shaak Ti?
It kind of seems like you don't treat her as rudely as the other Jedi. Or is that because she's a woman?
I'd quite happily kill her, where'd you get that information?

Sa'raaka Tesaar:
Do all the droids listen to you? If not, what do you do to the ones who don't?
Nearly all of them do listen to me, those that have a programming error and don't are turned into scrap on the spot.

What Jedi do you think was your best kill?
I can't really say which one. The best Jedi kill would be one where I play with them before killing them.

Do you think you could kill Obi-Wan in a fair duel?
Of course it depends what you mean by a FAIR duel...
posted by General Grievous at 8:44 PM | Permalink |


  • At 9:54 PM, Blogger Happy Mask Saleswoman

    Word on the streets, man. You coulda killed her a bunch of times but didn't.

    Well, of all the Jedi you've slaughtered, who would you say was the most tolerable?

    Oh yeah, and that question you never answered me on, how many wives did you have? Did they come and visit you when you were horribly injured? Did they buy postcards?

    How much would a droid body like yours cost to make? Seems like it would be quite expensive.

  • At 5:13 AM, Blogger Wedge Antillies

    Very interesting, General. It seems like Ms. Saleswoman has a little crush on you.

    So, how much does it cost to get lube and oil change for that mechanical body of yours?

  • At 6:03 AM, Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One

    That food was contaminated and need to be gotten rid of for the good of the Republic. (mmmmmm…contaminated HO-HO and Twinkies)

  • At 9:06 AM, Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator

    What do you sustain your live parts with? Do you require a special diet or anything. I'm thinking about that time when Murphy went and got Robocop some babyfood.

    Oh, I know you were having a problem with it before, is your Wheelbike running now?

  • At 12:37 PM, Blogger tiny lil jawa

    YAY!!!! FINALLY A NEW POST!!! YAYYYYYY!!!!!!(i know that had nothing to do with this, but im just happy.)

  • At 12:44 PM, Blogger General Grievous

    Tiny lil Jawa:
    If you group all your questions into one comment here I will try to answer them.

  • At 12:45 PM, Blogger General Grievous

    Happy Mask Sales Woman:
    Sorry about not answering your question, I must of missed it, it will be answered in my next post.

  • At 4:56 PM, Blogger tiny lil jawa

    he......GENERAL GRIEVOUS SPOKE TO ME! anyways..... my question:

    grievous, tell me about ur childhood, im curious, cuz now, your a awsomely cool jedi hunting geonosian cyborg thats merciless, and i just wanna know how you were as a kaleesh warlord and as a young man. if your awsome now, you must have been awsome before!(im 99.99 percent sure of that..but i need to make sure ;) )

    P.S-your info is wrong, you were a kaleesh warlord a long time ago. not a geonosian creation, but i think that when you were a warlord, you have been beaten and severly damaged in battle, and a few days after that geonosians found you, brought you to their planet,and reconstructed your body parts and gave you a skull mask. you probably dont remember all that, good thing im your best fan to refresh your memory!(this has nothing to do with the question, just your real life. dont copy and paste this part if you dont want to.)

  • At 4:58 PM, Blogger tiny lil jawa

    * "reconstructed your (lost and severed) body parts." *

  • At 9:54 PM, Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One

    Someone take the caffinated drinks away from tiny lil jawa. Stop putting Red Bull on your Suger Pops.

  • At 5:12 AM, Blogger Commander Cody

    I got a question Grievous.
    Do you like killing clones?


  • At 7:32 AM, Blogger flu

    I've got a question, too:

    Is your refridgerator running?

  • At 8:42 AM, Blogger tiny lil jawa

    Clone, i dont drink caffeenee..or whatever you humans call it. im a jawa! a little jawa! i cant drink human bevrages! it might hurt my body. aliens arent that used to human stuff.

  • At 1:14 PM, Blogger tiny lil jawa bored now...

  • At 10:08 AM, Blogger Happy Mask Saleswoman


  • At 11:50 AM, Blogger tiny lil jawa

    i think hes right, due to your reaction...

    you just proved it! your photo proves a bit (red cheeks), plus, your angry! or should i say..proven!

    P.S 20- Quaymaen, when wil lyou answer me?

  • At 11:51 AM, Blogger tiny lil jawa

    "when *will you* answer me" sorry bout that error..

  • At 5:00 PM, Blogger Barriss Offee

    tiny lil jawa
    Do you remember what I told you?? Faith and understanding.. and he will.

  • At 6:43 AM, Blogger tiny lil jawa

    oh yea..that!

    just to warn you, Jawas dont have alot of patience... but ill try...

  • At 10:35 AM, Blogger Happy Mask Saleswoman

    No, I'm pretty sure just YOU don't have a lot of patience.

    My picture has been like this since I signed up at Blogspot. That's an utterly ridiculous accusation.

    And I don't think Grievous is going to bother reading all these comments anyways, so... there's no point to commenting more than, like, 6 times.

    Lay off the Jawa equivalent of caffiene, man.

  • At 10:44 AM, Blogger tiny lil jawa

    oh...its been like that since.....oh...

    Jawas dont make caffiene! only beer in the cantina. man, thats the best!

    P.S 21- you cant stop me from commenting! all i want is an answer...

    P.S 22- i still think your picture is proof!......

  • At 3:25 PM, Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida

    I think you should teach them how to avoid your four spinning lightsabers, if they can avoid those, they can dodge anything. But I'm also a big fan of how to improve/improvise explosives, marksmanship, and, umm, wait, are your students Republic types or Separatist types? If they are the Sepies, I think you should teach them to stand real still and to hold a target over vital areas.

  • At 12:25 PM, Blogger Happy Mask Saleswoman

    But I thought the whole point of having a killer strategy was that other people don't know how to get around it. If he gives away that information, anybody will be able to defeat him and he'll be left in disgrace. In fact they might even kill him because he'll be no use to the Seperatists and he knows all their secrets.

  • At 11:51 AM, Blogger Rebel Soldier

    my patience is running out!

  • At 11:52 AM, Blogger tiny lil jawa

    are you physcic rebel soldier? how do you know what im gonna say!?

    P.S 23- my patience is running out!

  • At 3:46 PM, Blogger Happy Mask Saleswoman

    maybe not, but a psychic one perhaps...

  • At 10:55 AM, Blogger tiny lil jawa

    *scratches head* hdid that make sense?

  • At 9:34 PM, Blogger HOLG


    I hope you had nothing to do with Noel disapearence.

    Did you?

  • At 10:27 AM, Blogger tiny lil jawa

    i hope not!

  • At 11:54 AM, Blogger tiny lil jawa

    *looks at watch* not long till my patience is gone...

  • At 2:02 AM, Blogger Jango Fett

    Lil Jawa, I think Grievous heard you. He'll respond dont worry.

    It feels like Im talking to a clone of Boba :)

  • At 10:26 AM, Blogger tiny lil jawa


  • At 12:14 PM, Blogger Happy Mask Saleswoman

    Whaddaya wanna bet this post gets over 50 comments before he posts again?
    Jango, you shouldn't be so hard on Boba. I'm sure you were just like him in your youth. ;)