Access Granted: Welcome General *cough* Grievous
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Unemployment on Coruscant
Seeing as I no longer have a job (I am paid per gig by Noel), and many people do not want to hire an ex convict, I have applied for Coruscant's unemployment plan the boasts a lower level apartment and a plentiful income. The only downside is that it is only for Coruscant residents.

So I had this problem that was easier to solve than first expected. I went for a walk down to the nearest immigration office and filed an application for residency, and the form to say I am an intelligible life form. About 5 minutes after I got back to my ship I received a call from the immigration office.
"Hello Grievous, this is Ton Rak of the Coruscant Immigration Department. I am calling to congratulate you on your successful application for residency; you have been selected to become an instant resident should you remain on Coruscant for the next week. This is in accordance of Sector 11B of the Planet Immigration Act."

So 2 days until I'm a resident and about a week after till I get my apartment.
posted by General Grievous at 3:53 PM | Permalink | 8 comments
Monday, December 19, 2005
Adjusting to a new life

With my new found time I have decided to explore the activities of ordinary people, the other day I decided to go to the movies to catch the first instalment of “The Chronicles of Naboo: The Gungan, the Droid and the Air Vent" on the big screen.

So, I arrived at the theatre and approached the counter:
"Hello, I'd like a ticket to The Gungan, the Droid and the Air Vent."
"Ok, that'll be 20 Credits."
"What? It costs to see these things?"
"I'm afraid it does."
"But I don't have any money."
"Well then you can't see the movie."
"But I want to see it."
"Then you'll need to find the money for the ticket."

So I went and place my lightsaber holster down on the ground in front of me and began twirling the lightsabers around. Within minutes I had accumulated enough money to buy a ticket - whether this was from the spectacular show or the fear of being hit, I don't know.

Once inside I joined the cue to enter the theatre, however as I joined it people started to leave after peering over their shoulder to see what the murmur was about. Eventually I was the only person in the line, and as such, the only person in the theatre.

Why this happened, I have no idea, but it made for a good movie experience in an otherwise decent movie - a bit to much life in it for my liking.
posted by General Grievous at 5:36 PM | Permalink | 8 comments
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Relieved of Duty
The meeting went badly, very badly. I arrived at Sidious's vacation home with a hamper of his favourite foods and drinks, which he promptly took from me and locked in a cupboard leaving me wondering why he was acting strangely.

We went into his office and sat down; strangely there were no servants insight.
"Well General, as I said before I am no pleased with your retreat."
"Ye Sir, but it looked like the best thing to do. We were being murdered on the ground and were barely able to hold the skies. I didn't want to lose any more droids."
"That is the problem, droids can be replaced, reputation can't and neither can those clones."
Then there was silence and after a few minutes went passed I broke it.
"What is your reason for calling me here Sir, you've been acting strangely ever since I arrived?"
"Well, it is because I have a grave announcement to, well... announce. It is with deep regret that I am to relieve you of your duties. The title and position of General will now fall upon Count Dooku."
"WHAT! You can't do this, I have a contract! You can't fire me!"
"Grievous, your contract expired yesterday."
"Did it?"
"Well that’s beside the point. How can you think Dooku is better than me?"
"Well it was his idea to attack and he wanted to keep attacking."

Well that was it; I went to pick up my hamper and remembered that he had locked it away, now I know why. Instead I ignited my lightsabers and tore the walls apart as I stormed from his house and went back to the Invisible Hand - which I would keep even if he wanted it back. Now I can get on with doing all the things I've wanted to do.
posted by General Grievous at 6:21 PM | Permalink | 14 comments
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Defeated by an Army Led by a Drunk

We withdrew from Kamino this morning after days of heavy battle in some major cities on the planet. Our plan was very risky, we deployed the vast majority of our droids and hoped that they would defeat the clones; but there were so many clones, where did they come from? That Rage has something to answer for next time see him.

After fleeing Kamino and ordering the other ships to return to Geonosis I received a transmission from Master Sidious.

"I assured you victory General, why did you run?"
"With all due respect sir, you must have seen wrong, we were utterly defeated."
"I did not see wrong, I am never wrong."
"Well, this time you must have been."
"Meet me at my vacation home on Mustafar tomorrow, General..."

With that the transmission ended, I just hope he doesn't hold be completely responsible for this... it was Dooku's idea in the first place.

posted by General Grievous at 5:12 PM | Permalink | 3 comments
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
The Never Ending Party
Latter in the day after sleeping off the drink and gaining some form of conciousness I went back to the club with my security droids to see the damage from the night before. As I expected the place was a mess. Upturned table, chairs missing legs, the microphone stand in four pieces, and the floor littered with various cans and glasses.

So the cleaning up began reminding me very much of my time on Tatooine with the Hutts. It was unpleasant but eventually the work was done and the club could open for another night of complete and utter chaos.

Thats how I thought it would be, untill a few people came in and gradually built up to a steady number, but not enough for complete chaos, that was good, earnings wouldn't suffer that much as repairs wouldn't be needed.

The party lasted late with Noel coming in after Jomb and then singing me and Rage into oblivion.
posted by General Grievous at 5:14 PM | Permalink | 3 comments
Saturday, December 03, 2005
Party at Sky City

Noel, my second employer held a huge opening party for her resort ship, Sky City. Of course I was there in DJ and friend capacity. Unfortunately I'm too drunk at the moment to say much, I'll post back latter, all I can say is that Rage featured in a small brawl over Karaoke.

The party started with a short speech followed by a night of complete luxury, I was at my position at the turntables before the doors opened, and when they opened the opened and were constantly opening a closing as people came and went.

At about 3 the next morning, and after too many shots of whisky, I walked over to a table near the karaoke machine, where Major Rage and two of his squad were singing their horrid drinking songs and seeing if they could break the reinforced steel table they were sitting at, with their fists.

I grabbed the mic from the Major's hand and started singing a rock rendition of "Killing Jedi."

After the first verse the clones stopped hitting the table and turned to face me, soon after Rage walked up to me and told me to turn the noise down:

"Hey General, turn the noise down buddy, I'm gonna go deaf if you don't."
"Hey Major, this is a club, if you can't handle the jandal, run from it or sumthin."
"Yeah don't insult my friends; I can sing better than you any day, here I'll prove it."

He grabbed the mic and brought up the words to "100 bottles of McDooku's brew" and started singing.

"Hey Major, you call that a song, you can't sing, here take my card, I’ll give you a half price life insurance policy against being killed for bad singing."
"Cheers mate."

At about 5 I retired to my onboard room that Noel
gave me to accommodate me when I'm working. Another two days of partying to go before I get back to Kamino.

posted by General Grievous at 11:17 AM | Permalink | 3 comments