Access Granted: Welcome General *cough* Grievous
Friday, November 04, 2005
Woa - Far Out Man
"Good morning, Qui."
"Mornin..." *yawns*
"Say, aren't your parents coming over for lunch?"
"Isn't today the day your parents are coming for lunch?"

My parents are very old, they were born in like the land before time, they're so old that I'm not sure if how old they are, I've lost count. Anyway, they haven’t seen me in over two decades; they think I'm still a Jedi, and that I'm still alive. This lunch was arranged when I was still alive and I ran into them on some distant planet, I couldn't stay for long so we arranged for them to come and see me twenty years latter.

"Hey, J.J. you couldn't do us a favour, could you?"
"Sure, what do you want done?"
"Well... my parents still think I'm a Jedi, so I need you to go over to the Jedi Temple and pick them up when they arrive and bring them here."
"Why don't you want to do it?"
"I don't want them to be too shocked; on the way back you're to tell them I'm not a Jedi any more..."
"Sure, buddy, what ever you want."

At 11 J.J. went to pick my parents up, I went and made sure all the preparations were done; food cooking, stereo on, and that I was looking good:
Ok, everything is ready, I sat and waited.

Finally, at 11:30 I heard J.J. pull up out side.
"Here we are Mr and Mrs Jinn."

The door opened and there were my parents; framed in the doorway, their mouths slack. My mother fainted. When she came round five minutes later she finally spoke to me for the first time in 20 years.
"You're..... You're..... D e a d....."
"Yes, I'm dead, I was killed some time ago"
"Why didn't you tell your father and I?"
"I didn't want to scare you."

After reassuring my parents that this wasn't some cruel trick, we sat down and talked about their life back home.
"The farm is going well, it's not making much of a profit, but it pays the bills. You must be doing all right for yourself if you live in a place like this."
"Yeah it's a nice place. J.J. just redecorated it."

"Hey, Qui, you want me to bring your biscuits out now?"
"Yeah, thanks bud."

A minute latter J.J. emerged carrying a large platter of biscuits, which he placed on the table in front of us. My parents started eating them straight away.
"Say, these remind me of a plant we secretly grew in our shed when I was young, that was until the authorities confiscated it."
"J.J., kitchen, NOW!"

"J.J. where exactly did you get the biscuits from?"
"Well there weren't any in the oven but I saw some in here so I thought they were them."
"You just fed my parents a batch of extra potent brownies!"
"Oh dear..."

When we emerged from the kitchen we found my parents running round the room like children. After many attempts to calm them down, we gave up and grabbed a couple of brownies ourselves.

My parents left looking quite peaceful in the back of a disgruntled cab driver's cab.
posted by General Grievous at 9:23 PM | Permalink |