Access Granted: Welcome General *cough* Grievous
Sunday, July 31, 2005
All Rise - Part I

Well... I am now in Court after day one of the case, that I killed Kaht Argar. *cough* The commentary is as follows:

Security Personal: All rise for the Supreme Chancellor, and now High Court Judge, Palpatine.

Palpatine: We are here on the charges laid against General Grievous, hereafter referred to as the Defendant, by the family of Jedi Knight Kaht Argar, now know as the Plaintiff.

Grievous: Your Honour I never laid a finger on said Jedi *cough*, let’s just put this case behind us so –

Palpatine: Silence in the Courts [Palpatine whacks hammer on podium], wow I’ve always wanted to do that [Palpatine whacks hammer repetitively on the podium for half an hour]

Member of the Jury: Your Honour, can we get back to the case at hand? You see I have a wife and kids sitting at home waiting for me to –

Palpatine: Ok, ok, I didn’t even ask you to say anything, and quite frankly - [The hammer, which Palpatine was still hitting the podium with slipped out of his hand and flew, arching through the air, into the face of the talking Jury Member, who was promptly knocked out] – oops…. Ahh yes lets get back to the case shall we, Kaht Argar’s family’s Lawyer, I’ll just call you Lawyer, you may now present your case to the jury.

Lawyer: I call upon the Defendant, General Grievous, if that’s his real name of course.

[Grievous walks up to the podium where the Security man places a lightsaber on his hand and make him repeat the following words:

I swear on this holy lightsaber that I will say the truth and nothing but the truth, and if I don’t may it skewer my insides in a bloody and painful death!]

Lawyer: General where were you at the stroke of Midnight, Galactic Standard Time, two weeks ago?

General Grievous: Well… I was up on the bridge of my flagship, the Invisible Hand –

Lawyer: What were you doing awake at that hour? I wonder, could you have been plotting to kill –

Palpatine: Lawyer I do not want to speak to you again, do not insert your wild accusations into your questioning, leave them till the end.

Lawyer: Yes your Honour, so General, what were you doing at the time in question?

Grievous: Well I was taking a walk, you see lately I have had insomnia and so I take walks to help me get to sleep *cough*; well anyway I arrived on the bridge when one of the scanners detected an incoming Jedi Starfighter hailing the ship for entrance stating that they had something important to talk about. *cough*

Lawyer: so what happened next?

Grievous: Well... I’m not one to let important information go, so I lowered the shield over the landing bay, and let the ship enter. I ran down to the ship and waited for the Plaintiff to emerge *cough*. The Plaintiff stepped out of the ship and dropped her lightsaber on the ground as a signal of peace. Next what she said is quite shocking *cough* and you probably don’t want to hear it –

Lawyer: [sounding very enthusiastic, obviously hopping for Grievous to confess] so what did she say?

Grievous: Ok, don’t say I didn’t warn you! She said that she was troubled with what the Order was becoming and wanted to join the Sith –

[Loud gasps all around the court room, along with several people feinting and a loud cry from the family of Kaht Argar]

Palpatine: uhhh, ok, that will be all for today!

A different Jury member: Your Honour we still have another four hours of this case today!

Palpatine: I said that will be all for today! [Palpatine whacks hammer loudly down on the podium] and that is final!


Well I better get this transcript back to the court rooms before they notice it missing, or I could be up for another charge. *cough*

posted by General Grievous at 8:49 AM | Permalink |