Today was interesting in several ways:

• I heard that Dooku is setting up his own fast food chain. Needless to say I have pledged my fleet to him and wish him the all the best with his venture, he just forgot one meal: Hutt Surprise.
• Today it was decided that my five hours of service would be spent feeding Jabba's prize winning sarlacc! This proved to my advantage as being part droid it didn't sense that I was there, well thats what I thought. It sensed that I was there when I was in range of its tentacles. A tentacle cut through the air towards me, I was still carrying its lunch and didn't see it coming, and tore off one of my lower arms. Well that was it, nom mister nice Grievous for him! Out came my lightsaber and off went its tentacles. After throwing its lunch, stil in its bag, into the sarlacc I turned and ran before it could realise what had happened.

Of course I have just severely damaged Jabba's pride and joy but the overseer won't be mentioning it untill I'm long gone from here.